In finding your strong I’m not talking about physical strength. I’m talking about character and inner strength. What is it that you can contribute to your family, and society? I was always physically strong before I took the prescription medication that disabled me. When that happened I needed to redefine my life and way of living.
It happened one morning when I was at a very low point in my life. I’d fallen and broken my hip about six months prior. I’d gone through 3 weeks in a hospital and rehab, 3 months in a wheelchair and withdrawals from opiod and benzo pain meds. But that wasn’t all; the surgery to repair my hip involved adding a plate and four screws to the head of my femur to hold it together. Two of those screws were very large and spring loaded so that as the bone healed and “knit” back together the screw heads backed out and into my thigh muscle. The result was that every time I took a step, sat down or stood up my thigh muscles caught on the screw heads and tore. The screw heads were sticking out about 3/8ths of an inch into my muscles and while that might not sound like much believe me it’s painful. One time I had my husband place his hand over my thigh while I took a couple steps and he was horrified at how he felt those muscles catch and pop. And this was from a man who works in a hospital and is occasionally in an operating room.
So after about six months of this I was in bed struggling to have a reason to get up. As I laid there I began praying to God and asking “what can I do with my life?” You see I’d always worked even if it was only part time and I’d run the household taking care of my family. Now they were all taking care of me, I’d been laid off from my job years earlier, and I felt I had no purpose not to mention I was living with chronic debilitating pain. As I prayed I heard “you can write”. Three simple yet powerful words. So I took the next step and began thinking about what I’d write about. I had never thought of myself as a writer and yet here I am. Upon hearing those words I got up out of bed with a new focus; what to write about. It’s been over a year since then but that moment when I heard those three words has changed me. I have a renewed sense of self and purpose. I’ve found myself writing more and more about various things pertaining to my life in an attempt to help others dealing with this. As a result I’ve found my inner strength.
I’ve always been a firm believer in the power of prayer and prayer led me to an inner strength I didn’t have before because as I listened to that inner voice telling me I could write I heard other messages too. Whether you believe in God, some other higher power or not we all have an inner voice. That voice is the reason I began this blog. It’s my effort to help others who are chronically ill and suffering to find their strength. My message is one of hope and to provide comfort in knowing that our lives have purpose and meaning. Life is a blessing and we are here for a reason even if it’s as simple as being a positive loving force in someone’s life. Being positive and loving is more important than being a CEO of some company. I believe this because love is the greatest gift we can give and receive.
Yours in Strength, Betsy